30 October 2012

Pumpkin Head

Has the skin lost its usual elasticity? Have those underlying muscles started to sag? There comes a time, even for pumpkins, when a little surgical assistance could help restore the fresh appearance of youth. If you're not quite ready to be turned into soup, come into our clinic for a free consultation, etc..

26 October 2012


Why stop at dressing wall-to-wall Chanel or Prada? Now that the days are drawing in, why not go further? Have yourself lined in your favourite brand.

21 October 2012

Ascot Hat

In honour of Frankel, the horse that yesterday at Ascot won his fourteenth and final race, and who, from his interviews, seems to be a lively and unaffected beast, I offer a design for a hat to be worn at the races.

17 October 2012

Long Lens

Film canisters in use again, making it evident that this is another rather dated image. I have been drawing, but find it increasingly difficult to like what I draw, and my store of old pictures is dwindling. This one was done in response to my agent's request for an exhibition piece on the theme of 'Celebrity'.

8 October 2012


I'm guessing that hair straightening is currently more popular than hair curling, so this drawing is somewhat passe.  I say 'guessing', as my own styling at its most labour-intensive involves twisting the ends of my hair under while still damp, the desk lamp doubling as dryer (surprisingly effective). Still, on behalf of womanhood in general, I am very glad about their diminished use, although the females below look happy enough. 

 I freely apologise to Wil-hold for borrowing the above. They may still be in business, although they're quite wrong about my needing two types of rollers. I hope I only have one type of hair at a time. On the other hand, if it's Problem and Normal and Fine all at once, should I use both types of roller simultaneously? I'm pretty sure that my hair is beyond all this; I'm sure it's showing at least seven signs of aging, or more, and rollers aren't going to be enough to fix that.

1 October 2012

Bag Lady

A thin excuse for putting up this picture today- a close, overcast sky and damp streets. I felt the need for a little cerise and scarlet. The even thinner excuse for the original picture was a pun on the word 'bag'. No lady dressed like this would appear without the appropriate high-end  handbag. Seated as she is with a cup of darjeeling, why not multi-task her bag? The idea has yet to be taken up by Chanel or Hermes. etc.

Bag: 1.'a receptacle of flexible material with an opening at the top'
         2. 'a woman's handbag' 
         3. 'a woman, esp. regarded as unattractive or unpleasant' 
(All from my trusty Oxford English Reference Dictionary)