30 October 2014

Chocolate Box

Tired of being 'pear' or 'apple' shaped? Try one of these exciting new variations. From top to bottom, and left to right:

Globe: Well-rounded, or even spherical? This is you!

American Footballer: Shoulders like a bull, tapering towards some sort of waist.

Mature Globe: As for Globe, but wrinkly. Dark colours suit this shape. (Hah!)

Torpedo: Shape developed by lying prone for too long before a television.

Square: Solid rectangular English brick. Stout-hearted. Try a girdle.

Mature Torpedo: As for Torpedo, but over fifty five.

Ovoid: Substantial fatty deposits around the waist result in this characteristic form. In males, this shape may be termed the 'Beer Belly'.

Lozenge: A more angular version of the Ovoid.

Crescent: Shape developed by older women who have carried too many heavy burdens over the years.     

This message is gluten-and-nut free.