21 March 2014

Brains/Boobs


Do your breasts precede you into a room? 
I was fitted for a new bra. The fitter looked at me and said, 'That bra does nothing for you'. (I so like the idea that your bra should be working actively on your behalf.) She came back with a selection- in minutes, I went from being a cup A to a cup DD. 'But I have teeny breasts!' I cried. The fitter looked scathing. 'Cup sizes have nothing to do with your breasts!' she said. 'The cup size corresponds to the size of your brain.' 
What could I say? My new bra fits like a dream, and when I go jogging, my brain doesn't jiggle around like it used to.

3 March 2014

I Got That Spot Some Therapy


This might get expensive.

Yet Here's a Spot

Spot (O.E.D.): 1.a. a small part of the surface of a thing distinguished by colour, texture,                       
                               etc... 
                           c. a pimple
                           e. a moral blemish or stain 

Of course, I sympathise with Lady Macbeth. One cannot but agree with her heartfelt wish, 'Out damned spot. Out, I say'. These things always do crop up on the eve of a big occasion. 
Such a little word, yet so versatile- spot illustration, penalty spot, in a tight spot, spot welding, spot check. And spots are always described as 'angry'. You don't get mild-mannered pimples or cheery zits. 

Above, a spot illustration, of course.