4 August 2014


The Foreign Office has advised British nationals to avoid the Oxford Street area in central London, which has been designated an 'insecure region'. Thousands of shoppers have converged on the hotspot for the summer sales, with skirmishes breaking out in Primark, Topshop, and other sites of special interest. There have been several recorded incidents of aggressive and antisocial behaviour, numerous arrests and a handful of hospital admissions. An eye witness described scenes of devastation, with shoppers running rampage amongst the rails of bargain goods. 
A spokesman for the Oxford Street Traders Association expressed surprise at the Foreign Office advice, saying that it was just business as usual, and that traders were happy with the sales figures.