31 May 2015

Ladies Must Wear Heels

No surprise to read that women have apparently been banned from parading on the 'red carpet' at Cannes because they were not wearing Birkenstocks. Sorry- that should have read, banned because they were not wearing high heels, and preferably, very high heels. 

Plus ca change. Above is a little illustration accompanying a 70's catalogue ad for an escape ladder that can be tipped out of a window for use in emergencies- such as unforeseen fires. But ladies should note, high heels must be donned before embarking on evacuation. Women will be banned from rescue if they do not follow the proscribed dress code. 

13 May 2015


Another drawing that hasn't quite worked out as I hoped. Enough time wasted; nailing my colours to the mast, so to speak.

8 May 2015

Hill Fold, Valley Fold

One of my sons just started a job that involves wearing a suit. He is not exactly happy about it, but I, on the other hand, can see that the possibilities of a pinstripe are endless.

8 April 2015

Feeling the Pinch

Another picture from my files. This one accompanied an article about weight loss for the summer. The wariness with which both weighing scales and crabs are generally approached makes up, I think, for the tenuous visual link between the two.
I'm currently feeling the pinch in more ways than one, so preparations for the summer and possible holidays aren't high on my 'to-do' list at the moment. 

17 March 2015

Infringement of Dress Code

Such a lot of fringes around at the moment. I counted more than eight fringed items in this month's Vogue US- bags, boots, sandals, dresses, vests, jackets, sunglasses. I am almost tempted, but I have not a flower petal of boho in my character. Fringes, especially the really long ones, are exactly the sort of habit my mother used to warn me against- just the kind of thing that might get caught in the closing doors of a subway train, and thus lead to the loss an arm or a leg, or worse. Quite a lot of these designs do look like the result of an accident with a paper shredder in the studio.

11 March 2015

From my Files

Failing all else, here is an old picture from a period when I drew much less self-consciously, and artwork was always submitted as a piece of paper, scratched, pasted together, hand-coloured, imperfect. These days I rarely manage anything close to such spontaneity- pictures are often pinned down (to death) at the rough stage, and even after you've submitted the artwork, the implied ease & speed enabled by technology (photoshop, illustrator et al) means that alterations can be requested, almost ad infinitum, by the art editor, the editor, the designer, the journalist, the tea lady, the cleaner and any old passer-by.

25 February 2015

Dental Break

Surprised and delighted yesterday to see an advert on my screen that read:
'Dental Holidays Bulgaria. New teeth in one week, save 70%. Request free information here: ask.dentaprime.com'
Such a great idea for a relaxing break! I'm booking immediately. Photos of new Bulgarian teeth to be posted later in the year.

13 February 2015

Bulletproof Bra

I was cheered over the weekend by the widely-reported story from Brazil, about a woman who was caught in robbery crossfire, and who afterwards found a bullet lodged in the undercarriage of her bra. 'Lingerie Saves Life' claimed at least one headline, although the woman herself (a shopkeeper named Ivete Medeiros) preferred to credit divine intervention. 

I felt duty-bound to show my own triple-strength underwired brassiere a bit of respect this morning, before strapping it on and pacing the mean streets of London. 

13 January 2015

Periodic Table

Christmas is over. I know this because I have eaten the last chocolate in the house. Chocolate has been so ubiquitous this season, I feel it deserves its own periodic table. Restricted to solid or liquid form as yet, the variations might be broadly sorted into:

Dark, amongst which can be found the original C(1) dark chocolate, as well as B(27) Belgian dark, Sd(28) Swiss dark, Di(40) diabetic chocolate, and Pu(52) a pure, sugar-free type used only in cooking.

Milk, including M(2) common milk chocolate, Ms(6), made with semi-skimmed milk, Mf(7) made with full-fat milk, Bm(12) Belgian milk, and so on. 

White: Cannot strictly be considered 'real' chocolate as it contains no cocoa solids, but is made using cocoa butter, milk solids and sugar. The variations here are largely in the proportions of the constituent ingredients. Su(35), for instance, consists of over 80% sugar, while Ww(59) is 'whiter than white', with a very high proportion of milk derivatives.

Corrupted: All of the above chocolates, dark, milk and white, are often 'contaminated' with flavourings, fillings and additions, leading to a great many modifications, such as: Gi(46) ginger, Cg(29) cognac, Ki(42) kirsch, Bu(61) bubbles, Ca(45) caramel, Mn(17) mint, Or(18) orange, Fn(48) fruit-and-nut, Pr(32) praline, and so on. In fact, the table can be considered to be almost infinitely expandable.

Lastly, the 'Heavy' chocolates, which are theoretically possible, but which are as yet undiscovered. Au(63) and Ag(64) chocolate made with gold and silver,  M(69) marijuana, Mu(72) music, and V(68) vinegar all fall within this category. Never say never.