13 January 2015

Periodic Table

Christmas is over. I know this because I have eaten the last chocolate in the house. Chocolate has been so ubiquitous this season, I feel it deserves its own periodic table. Restricted to solid or liquid form as yet, the variations might be broadly sorted into:

Dark, amongst which can be found the original C(1) dark chocolate, as well as B(27) Belgian dark, Sd(28) Swiss dark, Di(40) diabetic chocolate, and Pu(52) a pure, sugar-free type used only in cooking.

Milk, including M(2) common milk chocolate, Ms(6), made with semi-skimmed milk, Mf(7) made with full-fat milk, Bm(12) Belgian milk, and so on. 

White: Cannot strictly be considered 'real' chocolate as it contains no cocoa solids, but is made using cocoa butter, milk solids and sugar. The variations here are largely in the proportions of the constituent ingredients. Su(35), for instance, consists of over 80% sugar, while Ww(59) is 'whiter than white', with a very high proportion of milk derivatives.

Corrupted: All of the above chocolates, dark, milk and white, are often 'contaminated' with flavourings, fillings and additions, leading to a great many modifications, such as: Gi(46) ginger, Cg(29) cognac, Ki(42) kirsch, Bu(61) bubbles, Ca(45) caramel, Mn(17) mint, Or(18) orange, Fn(48) fruit-and-nut, Pr(32) praline, and so on. In fact, the table can be considered to be almost infinitely expandable.

Lastly, the 'Heavy' chocolates, which are theoretically possible, but which are as yet undiscovered. Au(63) and Ag(64) chocolate made with gold and silver,  M(69) marijuana, Mu(72) music, and V(68) vinegar all fall within this category. Never say never.