Most Wanted Dress

Here is 'the frock of the year', according to Times fashion editor Laura Craik. It's by Louis Vuitton, is covered in a gazillion teeny tiny sequins, and is priced in the region of £18,000. The article devoted to this dress was larded with photos of celebrity wearing variations. If you look closely, you can see that there are four patch pockets of the front there, and if I put in anything larger than my gold American Express card (presumably), the line would be ruined.  But that's by the by. The dress leapt out at me from the page, demanding to have a couple of heavy-weight chess masters at play on either side of the model- but no, the scale is wrong. What did this dress remind me of? Yes! It's a ringer for the lino floor in the hall of my primary school, with caretaker at work...