Summer Legs

As summer approaches in the northern hemisphere- well, I can stop right there. No need to angst about the state of my legs, because summer has not happened here in the UK for the past several years. The odd warm day, perhaps. A little sunshine to fool me into looking out my sunglasses. But do I wash & mothball my sweaters until October? No I do not. Can I idle for weeks wearing nothing but shorts, a t-shirt and flip-flops? Hah!
 Despite the dismally unseasonable weather, the odd little article on 'preparing for the sun' has started to creep into the Sunday papers. Which reminds me that I am a true Anglo Saxon; my legs are sausages,100% pork both in content and proportion, and no amount of 'preparation' will bring on the sun. 

I'm afraid that the above is a classic case of a picture that does not really work. I drew it this way and that way, I tried a variety of different sausages (including inauthentic continental varieties), and still could not get it to come right. It has appeared only because nothing else is to hand.